Monday, May 31, 2004

celebration! today is the last day of may! haha*cRaP*

hmmm...tuition just ended like 10 mins ago....can you believe it? it started at 7.45pm and ended at 10.25pm. hahaha...so late. today had tuition with lynn and jill at my house. heehee...it was fun. but i guess everyone is feeling very tired cos we are dozing off. even the chocolate didnt help in waking us up. sheesh.

cooked bee hoon today to eat. lynn and jill ta-bao it home to eat. haha they like my mum's beehoon a lot. since sec school.

well, there's nothing much for me to update...sigh. sad ar. my life's so plain now. just looking foward to tomorrow cos i'm watching shrek! hahaha yeah!

jocelyn | 10:40:00 PM

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Skies are dark it's time for rain
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterdays
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow

How can I be smiling like before
When baby, you don't love me anymore

Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so

Ten to five at least we tried
We're still alive but hope just died
As they close the door behind you
Whistle blows and tons of steel
Shake the ground beneth the wheels
As I wish I never found you

How can I be smiling when you're gone
Will I be strong enough to carry on

Miles and miles to go before I can say,
Before I can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh, darling oh
I got miles and miles togo
Before anyone will ever hear
Me laugh again

jocelyn | 11:57:00 PM

woke up extremely late today...11am and i'm still slacking on my bed. didnt even bother to eat breakfast. woke up in a daze with no idea what i want to do. walked around my house aimlessly after brushing my teeth and then sat at the sofa and stoned for about 30 mins. hmmm...haha boring sunday. i've got to find something to entertain myself...drag myself to my bedroom and listened to utada hikaru's album. fell in love with the song- final distance. it's so nice! haha slack and slack until i realised i dont have enough time to get prepared for tuition. went out in a rush and embarked on my journey to bedok for tuition. today's tuition is a little special cos there will be four people (me, sulastri, jill and lynn) having tuition at the same time. heehee...talked a lot of crap during tuition today. sheesh. nvm...

i'll be having tuition again tomorrow cos sulastri will be leaving for malaysia. well, it will be four people again. yeah! haha i dont really mind more people cos it's more fun. heehee...

sigh...today's so sianz...there's nothing to do on a sunday night...guess i'll just do my homework later....

jocelyn | 8:18:00 PM

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Immortality! take it! it's yours!

haha went to watch troy today with sulastri after the GP mid year paper this morning. haha cancel our tuition just to watch troy. omg...so bad of us. well, tuition is pushed back till tomorrow and it will be at jill's house. haha crappy seh. three people having tuition at the same time. hmmm...dont know what to update you people on...after band, there is nothing for me to complain and it seems like my life's a little emptier now. sigh...sometimes i feel a little out of love. seems like everyone around me is in love while i m here watching them. sad right? it's okay...maybe he's just lost somewhere out there and cant find me.

right now, i'm listening to all the sad love songs...hmm...think there's something wrong with me today. argh...nvm.

jocelyn | 11:26:00 PM

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

good morning! haha just woke up not long. well, today can report to school later so i blog for a while first.

yesterday was one of the most memorable day in life. mjcsb had a concert- joie de vivre. oh gosh, it was fun and yet at the same time sad. after yesterday's concert, everything will come to an end. the year twos will step down from band. i cant really picture the day when i dont have to go for band. though i have gone through a lot in band, i can say that i m very attached to it.

in the band room--
all of us went to the band room after morning assembly and settled down pretty soon. we have a long break of 2 hours plus until 10.15am. oh well, all of us started taking out our cameras and took photos. haha the trumpet section is like the only section which is frantically taking photos while the other sections are either arranging their files or polishing their instruments. i took quite a lot of photos. heehee...nice photos.

our way to concert--
in the bus, the trumpeters were making so much noise. haha making fun of airpork. heehee...i think only the trumpeters know who. we were busying making fun of siok wei and justin. omg...it was so funny!! i kept laughing until i had stomachache. haha i guess after loads of laughter, we finally got tired and most of us fell asleep for the rest of the journey to victoria concert hall. finally, we reached our destination. all of us looked kinda blur cos we all have the "i just woke up face".

preparation for the concert--
all of us were practising the whole thing once through and hmmm... most of the time me and huiwen were backstage slacking and talking cos we are only playing three songs for the whole concert. we entertained ourselves with the songs that the band is playing anyway. phew~ i m so glad that things turned out ok throughout the whole practice. okay...fast foward. we had dinner at vch. the exco had ordered packet food for us. oh well, the food was nice but somehow, the toufu was extremely hard. i suppose if i throw it against the wall, it will be the wall cracking instead of the toufu being smashed. haha whatever~ exaggerating. we ate at the spiral staircase behind the lift. it was memorable cos during our first concert- meridian revelry, all of us sat there and ate our dinner too. yea...i miss those time. faizah and cheryl ate the fastest cos apparently, they are very hungry. haha the rest of us didnt even finish up our food and we threw it away. wasted. nvm. we went to change right after that. haha all of us changed inside the changing room and people kept banging the door cos they want to get in and change too. n yea, they have to open the door when i was changing halfway. haha nvm. faizah brought her hairdryer and this hair straightener thingy which can be attached to the dryer. both of us were sitting on the floor and trying to straightened our frig-- is that how you spell? hahah sprayed perfume and stuff and wore our court shoes. we look great in black. so cool!!! first bell rang. it's time for joie de vivre.

the concert
it was fully booked and we started the concert when miss lai arrived. me and huiwen did not join the band on stage cos we are not playing the first song. wasted. i heard my friends chouting my name but too bad...i wasnt on stage. haha the first song was screwed. i guess everyone was very nervous at that point of time. i can hear pitching of wrong notes and at a particular part, everyone was off-beat. it was so super obvious. sigh. it's okie. we still have other songs. everyone applauded after the first song. it's time for me and huiwen to go on stage to join them for the next song. i was so nervous...i m so scare that i play the wrong notes and spoil the whole concert. first thing i did when i sat down was to look for my mum n dad and of course, my gang! haha found my gang in the middle block and sitting in the second row. douglas saw me and we smiled to each other. hahaha felt more relaxed and calm after seeing them. off we go! the second song was so much better. the tone and everything as compared to the first song. sigh. it's time for me and huiwen to move out of the stage after the second song. we dont have to join them all the way until the second half of the concert. from the backstage, everyone was sitting and listening to the songs and swaying and humming to the songs. after the first half of the concert, i went to the door to take a peek at the stage and audiences. haha i saw lynn! she waved and subsequently, the rest of the gang saw me and they waved to me too! heehee...the feeling was great! i felt like a star for the night. oOo...and ya, i saw my mum. haha she walked over to me and talked to me. i asked if she could find me on stage. she said yes and she had a hard time looking for me. heehee. went back to the backstage again to look for the trumpeters. saw them and faizah dragged me outside to look for friends. i dragged huiwen along too. we went to the search for our friends. haha i rushed over to the middle block to look for my gang. serena was fast. i saw her there talking to them already. haha i hugged them and they gave me this really nice bouquet of diasy i think. haha so sweet of them. we took photos and more photos. oh ya, not forgetting, yuesi gave me a diasy too. haha. we were taking photos in front of the stage and then, my dad came over and gave me this bouquet of sunflower!!!hahaha i took a photo with my dad too. yeah! Oops...the first bell again. we got to scram to the backstage to prepare for the next half of the concert. hugged all of them again before i left. went to the backstage and sat at the sofa. a few of the trumpeters were there and we were just talking and laughing about some stuff during the ensemble. next song coming up and all of the have to go again. saw miss sia after that. she went to the toilet. just before she went up the stairs, she stood at the door and kept tugging her skirt cos her skirt sticks to her legs. hahahaha it was such a funny sight. guess what? she turned behind and smiled to me and huiwen and said, "the skirt sticks to my legs." oh wow~ she actually talked to us ok? after that, she told us to use more air when we are playing. both of us were left there stunned. the second half started with a bang. it was so nice and so so so much better than the first half. i will dare say it was the best performance for the night. haha we played some japanese songs and my friends commented that it sounds like hokkein songs. doink. haha funny.

aWww...the last song.

it's the end of the concert. the MCs were thanking a list of people and the year twos have to stand up as being the pioneers of mjcsb. i heard my friends shouting my chinese name. hahahaha so nonsensical. we had an encore and yea...9.30pm- the concert officially ended.

after the concert
all of us stand at the stage and took a photo as a whole band. haha it was funny cos the photographer took such a long time to take one stupid photo. right after the photo, i heard michael and juwaini shouting my name. went to them and they said someone looking for me. hmm...who could it be? i saw fauzan. omg...i forgot about them! heehee...walked further up and i saw sulastri smiling brightly. went down and gave her a hug. didnt even have time to take a photo with her cos everyone is busy packing up. fauzan and her gave me a sunflower too. haha yeah! i love sunflowers! quickly rushed up the stage to pack up. everything was in a mess and it was so hot. it doesnt exactly help when all of us are wearing all black for the whole concert. hmmm...helped to load the trumpets up the lorry and we went up the bus. we all felt asleep on our way back to school. we were all so tired. reached the school closed to 11pm. we were dragging our feet back to the bandroom. we sat down and took some photos and wait for the guys to finish unloading the instruments. after that, emma and lin yee debriefed us. the year one trumpeters gave all the year two trumpeters a card. it was so nice of them. while we were reading, they all were chanting, "cry, cry, cry..." and yea...i cried. i'll miss them!!! it is my last day in band and i dont have to come for it anymore. sobz...i went aroung hugging all of them before i left. when i hugged them, i cried even worse. wah!!! it's so sad. i do hope that the friendship will last even when we stepped down from band. i really cherish this friendship and appreciated what they have done for me.

lastly--
just wanna say a very big thanks to all of you who came for the concert. thanks for the flowers, the cards and the chocolates that you people gave. it's very sweet of you people.

to all the trumpeters- yu hian, faizah, huiwen, cherri, rachel, siok wei, dawn, wenqi, cheryl, jun yang, jun wen, rickson, justin and benny, thanks for making my stay in mjcsb an enjoyable one. i'm really touched by the things you people done for us. thanks for the encouragements and for not giving up on us. wish you people the best in band ya?

to mr chua, thanks for believing in me and for the encouragement. without you, i would have left mjcsb last year.

A great big THANK YOU to you people. you guys rock!

jocelyn | 9:03:00 AM

Sunday, May 23, 2004

wah~~ so sad...tomorrow will be the band concert. i m dreading it...i cant picture the day when i have to leave the band. i'll miss it especially the trumpeters. sniff sniff. praying that everything will go well tomorrow.

jocelyn | 10:03:00 PM

Saturday, May 22, 2004

oOo...time to blog...yawn...just came back home from compass point. bought presents for the trumpters today...hope that they like it...took me quite a long time to search for it.

rite now, i m extremely pissed with mickey. heck. i dont understand, why does he have to tell eileen what other people are talking about her. come on man..it's not like he does not gossip about other people. i know it does not feel good when you know that someone badmouth about you...but the thing is why is it that mickey has to tell her? if not, she would not have know anything. argh...i m so angry now.

jocelyn | 10:26:00 PM

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

wow~~ it's so late...hmmm....just came back home from the choir concert. omg...their concert is superb man...they are so prepared as compared to band...dotz...i m so tired now...my legs are aching from the standing and walking and i need to run 2.4km tomorrow!!! sigh...i do hope i can make it before 16 minutes if not i need to retake. oh ya, not forgetting...went home with joel, jun yang and sharif today. haha they are so funny...really enjoyed talking to them especially when we have a common topic- sia swee suan. woah~~ heehee...didnt know that joel actually dislike her so much until today when we were all just trashing out everything. well...i guess everyone just hates her. sad life lah she...yawn. i think i will continue what happened today in tomorrow's blog. i so need to sleep now...

jocelyn | 11:46:00 PM

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

yeah!! no words can express how happy i m now! haha finally! my computer is okay!! yeah yeah!! now i dont need to rush my way down to the library to snatch for a place with the year ones in the computer lab! ha. poor thing. it's their turn to do PW this year. aWww...i do pity them...after reading some of their blogs...seems like the year twos are not the only one who are dying from tutorials and more tutorials.:| hmmm....mjcsb concert is coming up really soon...cant wait for it to be over but then again...i dont want it to end so soon. i'll miss those guys from band, especially the trumpeters. love them so much man!! (",)

well, so many things happened recently...i cant possibly type out everything now cos i'm sort of in a rush to finish this entry and move on to my tutorials. oh gosh...mount homework consist of nothing but chemistry now...i m seriously suffering from chemistry overdose. last sunday, i spent hours trying to finish up all the chemistry homework that i have...it was horrible...i locked myself up in the room in order to concentrate on my work. the heat was unbearable too...had to on the aircon but it failed. had to switch on the fan at the same time just to cool myself down. sheesh. wonder when will it be the next time that the sky decide to rain.

hmmm...just finish reading a few people's blog. i feel really bad now. sorry emma for pon-ing band that day. felt really guilty when you asked me "are you ok?"...hey serena...thanks for believing in me ya?

well well...lastly, choir is having their concert tomorrow. hope that everything turns out well for them! jia you christine!! yeah!!

jocelyn | 7:56:00 PM

Monday, May 17, 2004

hey people...will try to update my blog as soon as possible ya? my computer is down again....need time to repair it...

jocelyn | 10:51:00 PM

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

ahHhhHhhhhHhh!!!!! i so need to vent my frustration on someone. ok...nvm...argh...is it that serious to pon band? i dont think so...hey...it's been such a long time since i last skip it...i thought today will be quite ok to skip band. oh well, ah sia minds a lot about it and say she might not let me play for concert cos my attendance is irregular. slap her face man. b****. when i m present for band, she doesnt seems to notice my presence...but when i m not around, she will be the first one to know and find out. feel like sticking a cornet up her nose or ass. basket!!!! cannot stand her~~~ wonder why she can be a conductor in the first place? does she actually know that a lot people hate her to the core? no wonder she is still a MISS at this age. HA. i bet whichever guy who likes her has stamp pasted on their eyes. then again, there are no guys who are interested in her. dont say i m bad for suan-ing her until she's no even worth 5cents. wait...she's free...free of charge. but i guess even if she's free of charge also nobody wants her. only people like esther lai will appreciate her. sheesh.

jocelyn | 6:07:00 PM

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Oops...my blog's pretty stagnant. haha too tired to blog these few days. oh well...everything went off quite ok...haha lynn you're right...pms is really taking over our lives man. omg...this is getting very bad. we seems to be taking turns to be pms. *doInk* rubbish...wonder what's wrong with us...maybe the heat is really getting into our brain. hmmm...blogger has a new look. i definitely prefer this one than the old look...it's cooler and hip~ haha i think i m making no sense here. yea...i had gp extra lesson with mr kwek today. i was dreading it at first but haha... didnt expect the lesson to be that fun~ talked to mr kwek about cloning and stuff. wow~ he's general knowledge is superb! it's no wonder why he's a gp teacher. today there's no free period at all...all taken up by teachers. sigh...so tiring. man...jc education is really ruining my life. sheesh. today stayed back in school after pe lesson to help out with the band banner. haha i've fun. eugene, joel, jun yang, fu quan, serena, wei ee and me were there making the banner. haha didnt know that this bunch of people are so chatty and fun. hope to talk more to them next time. yupz. hmmm...i wonder if serena and me are still watching van helsing on friday...i so want to watch that show~ everybody has been telling me how great the show was and my stupid sister just had to tell me the ending!!!!! argh...i was so pissed at her. so idiotic. i told her i m going to watch the movie but she just cant shut her mouth and tell me the ending. *biSh* wanted to ask the gang along to watch...but all of them dont seems interested at all...sianz. now i'm just waiting for time to pass by so i can watch smallville! yeah! hahaha cant wait for it to start...tom welling is sooo cute! heehee....

jocelyn | 8:55:00 PM

Saturday, May 08, 2004

~If I knew

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

jocelyn | 1:51:00 PM

Friday, May 07, 2004

ahhhh!!!!! i never watch the OC yesterday night!!!!!! i fell asleep while waiting for it....*biSh* haiz...nvm...i've got my sis to tell me what happened during the show...yaWnz...i'm so sleepy now. hmm...then again, when m i not sleepy? heehee...JC life = no life. i dont even have time to sleep. doink. the dark rings around my eyes are overpowering. hahahaha the power of the dark force. may the force be with me. lame. crap. today everyone is so pms. lynn was in a pretty bad mood. both of us were angry at the same person simultaneously. sianz. not that we want to find fault in that person but it's just that....er...how to say ar....that person is so easy to be angry with. i was in bad mood. getting angry over small little things for no reasons. so 'gek' today. nearly cried for dont know what bloody reasons. sigh...today got called during chem lecture. wah~ this week i very 'lucky' lor...seems to be called for so many lectures and scolded by teachers. what the ~. argh....i m so pissed with mrs lim these few days. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! what's wrong with me? this sucks man....

jocelyn | 6:35:00 PM

Thursday, May 06, 2004

i m sleepy~ i m sleepy~ i m sleepy~ just waiting for the OC to start....

jocelyn | 9:51:00 PM

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

i m in no mood to talk.

i m feeling down.

it's not from band. i m immune to everything that is happening in band.

perhaps benny is right....i have endured too much in band, that's why i dont feel anything now. even the worse and most hurtful things that ms sia say has no effect now.

i m numb.

just waiting for her to open her mouth to say, 'i dont want you to play for the concert.'

i m just this tiny step away from my happiness- getting out of band.

yea...thanks people...i m okie. dont be worried if she say something hurtful to me cos ya...i dont feel anything now. i can even smile when she's scolding. sheesh.

argh...gonna complete my chem tutorial tonight no matter how long it's gonna take me.

going to prove to her i can finish my work.

hate it when people say, 'and you are the chem rep some more.'

ya ya...chem rep not human is it? cant they make mistakes? cant they not do their work for once in a while? dont they understand how tired i m?

the worse thing is that when someone makes the same mistake as you, like not doing work, they dont get the scolding just because they are good in their results or they didnt admit when the teacher asked who didnt do their work.

what the hell? this is so unfair. ok fine~ i admit it's my fault for not doing work but i really feel so tired. i m so drained. i literally drag my legs home everyday. i leave the house the earliest among my family members and i reach home the latest everyday. even later then my dad who works OT. *gonna burst out in tears soon*

can anyone understand what i m going through now and understand me?

~Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small

jocelyn | 9:42:00 PM

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

lalalala~~ nothing to do now...in school library again...as usual. free period now. sigh~~ dont know why, i just cant stop feeling pissed today. sheesh. especially at someone. aiya...i think i pms today lah. nvm...today i'm so gonna have a long day in school. have to retake my chemistry test after the chemistry extra lesson... argh...so tired. hmmm...well well...sigh...just sitting here and stoning and thinking about some stuff. i just cant stop thinking that serena is hiding something from me. it's just a gut feeling. maybe she's not or i'm just thinking too much. haiz....forget it....

jocelyn | 12:58:00 PM

Sunday, May 02, 2004

eh....now nothing to do...so blog for a while first. let's talk about yesterday first ba....went to LOTR exhibtion. omg...it's highly recommended man! if you people are LOTR funs like me, must go for it ya? it's so cool! the props and everything. i could have just spend my whole day there...but cannot lah...still need to rush ove to Suntec to meet my gang to celebrate dougy's birthday. it was cool. i rushed over to Suntec there and met the gang at G2000. haha weird place to meet but no choice. me and serena had to buy black blouse for the concert. stupid man...the blouse cost me 27 bucks. sianz 1/2. i m so broke. nvm....set off for sizzler to eat dinner.yum yum....the food was nice. i ate sirloin steak though...the rest of the gang ate steak, fish and chicken. we had a salad buffet...awww...i think it's not worth it for serena cos she doesnt eat veggie!!! haha but it's ok lah...cos they also have ice-cream and soup. guess the gang had fun at the sizzler. we sang birthday song for doug there and took a lot of photos. there was this guy who was laughing at the way kah woon was smiling. heehee...he looks so spastic. ok...i'm so bad. we went to the esplanade after eating. bought doug a cake and celebrated it there. watched the fireworks display. it's so nice!! i like the smiley face one especially. wished that it will last forever. went home after that. really enjoy myself yesterday so much.... ~happie~