Thursday, July 29, 2004
oh well, this week is so slacked...i've been sleeping so early this few nights. yupz....oh ya, yesterday, i sent a sms to perfect10 to make a dedication to the gang...oh well, my dedication wasnt read out...aWww...but serena's one was. it was cool to hear my name over the radio. haha will try to send a sms tonight again. hmmm....they better read out my dedication if not i'll be wasting 30 cents...shEesH....
now i m addicted to playing the game 'bespelled' from msn. haha it's so fun and challenging. you guys should try it out man. currently listening to jay chou's new song- Qi Li Xiang. it's soOo nice! cant wait for his new album to be released.
jocelyn | 5:51:00 PM
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
jocelyn | 10:17:00 PM
Saturday, July 24, 2004
well, yesterday was a pretty bad day for me...should i go into detail? maybe not. okies...receiving the phone call from the office really really gave me a wake up call from my dreamy mood. it's time i should consider about my future, my studies. yea...was freakingly pissed with my family...it's like everyone is accusing me of not studying enough. i dont get it. dont they have eyes to see if i did study during the holidays? i felt so hurt and unfair. it's like...siGh. words just cant describe the pain and how i felt at that point of time. wanted to skip dinner to show my anger...but nay, my stomach couldnt take it. stupid stomach. i m supposed to be on a 'riot' and be pissed...i ate dinner in the end. the food was nice thought it wasnt like a super duper good spread.
heez....childish i know...skipping dinner at this age to show your anger.
went out with that guy yesterday. met him at the control station...was thinking if i can recognise him cos i've only seen his photo. oh well, saw him and knew it was him. lala~ he's cute. hahahaha....yea....didnt knew what to do at tampines mall. went around walking in circles and not knowing what to say or do....siGh. felt so weird at that time. it's like ahhHhh!!! i wanna go home right now! so many awkward silence. that's the thing i hate the most. doink. in the end, the walking around in circles ended up at the interchange. he said he send me to the platform to take my bus. yeap. went home. *phEw* the feeling of boarding the bus was so relaxing...hahahaha...dont know. still think the idea of meeting up someone you dont know a really bad idea. unless the both of you have planned to watch a movie cos that helps to kill all the awkward silences that you know will be coming on the way.
it's really awkward.
alright. fast forward to today. yeah! happy birthday fauzan! haha...hope you enjoyed your birthday surprise at the beach. oh well, we had a bbq at the beach today to celebrate fauzan's birthday...this is one big surprise that sulastri had been planning for quite long.
reach the beach at around 3plus. help to set up some stuff and went off to play at the seaside cos we felt out of place...we dont really know the arts people that well...yea. we went walking along the seaside and walked into the sea. didnt dare to venture too deep into the sea...phobia....afraid that there is a sudden drop and we will get drown. talked to christine and serena about love and stuff...it's been a really long time since the three of us talked about such stuff. the good old times...aWw....
well, we've stayed too long in the water. got out and walked to the playground. hahaha....played there like some small kids. ate ice-cream with bread. yum yum...it's the home made type of ice-cream...it reminds me of last time when i was still staying bedok and i always go downstairs to buy ice-cream when i heard the bell ringing sound. yea...miss those time terribly.
rush all the way back cos i think sulastri is coming here with fauzan. haha...reach there, saw fauzan being blindfolded by su and she was leading him all the way to the bbq pit. it was a funny sight. yeaps. the stunned face and the surprise! was cool. heez... we threw and smashed the cake at fauzan. oh well, su being his girlfriend also had a share of cake being smashed on her face. hahaha...the two sweet couple. literally sweet...covered with cream and cake.
the bbq continued all the way to the night. drank some alcohol. the new drink that lynn introduced was really nice. will buy it the next time round. had an ice war after clearing everything up. was throwing ice at each other and putting ice in each other shirt. hahaha....all of us were screaming like hell...people kept staring at us. so ambarrassing...
hey people, thanks for all the fun ya? hahaha....felt really great and relaxed.
to lynn, jill, serena, christine, avril and kah woon- hey, great that you all came! hahaha....
to the square one- haha...miss you all!! really good to catch up with you guys today. will remember what we talked about today ya? haha...singlehood rocks!
jocelyn | 10:43:00 PM
Friday, July 23, 2004
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
jocelyn | 10:37:00 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
i dont know why i m so stressed....i just cant put the seeing miss lai thingy aside....
i m studying every night but yet, i m losing hope....
have the feeling that even if i study for prelims, i will still screw it up.
siGh....
i m stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jocelyn | 6:10:00 PM
Monday, July 19, 2004
until the day you entered my life,
silently and unknowingly...
from the daily messages
to the night phone calls,
i realised that i'm falling for you.
the sweet nothing
that you whispered into my ears,
is all i want to hear.
there's something about you
that makes me cant stop thinking about you.
i've come to realise that i like you...
this cant be happening,
no.
this cant be true.
how can you be the one
when i have not met you?
accidentally in love....
m i?
jocelyn | 6:53:00 PM
oh well, just receive some bad news today during maths lessons...hmmm...i didnt get the letter to show that i have to see the form teacher...so...yea...it means that i have to see the principal. yeap. *siGhz*
...
feeling extremely depressed and demoralised...sigh...dont feel like going home so early cos i dont wan to face my parents. this will be the first time that my parents will actually have to see the principal or whatever due to results. this totally ruined my super good mood today. wah~~
i think i will be losing my freedom pretty soon...so, maybe i should go home early these few days then act good and study more so i can get a chance of going out on friday. heez...yea..i'm still thinking about going out. hey, i m not super woman...i need a break at times...if not, i will suffer from mental breakdown.
nothing much happened today...just felt really bad when friends around me got the letter and they were so happy cos they only need to see the form teacher. hmmm....good for them i guess.
siGh...i should get going...it's getting pretty late and i dont want to be caught in the peak hour jam. i hate that. yeaps.
*pOoF* off i go....
jocelyn | 5:01:00 PM
Sunday, July 18, 2004
but now, it means nothing to me
i feel so small
like a nobody in this big big world
your lies are like knives....
each one stabbing deep into my heart
can you hear it?
my heart is crying...
'dont think i wanna know you
'i'm tired of running after you'
back off...
you mean nothing in my life.
Nothing.
jocelyn | 2:02:00 PM
Saturday, July 17, 2004
this current blog skin is the most mature one i guess...the rest are just plain childish. well, it's plain but i like it!
hmmm...just came back home from bedok not long ago...accompanied my grandma to bedok central to buy cloth so she can make pillow cover for my cousin. haha kinda ridiculous to go all the way from hougang to bedok just to buy cloth right? oh well, it's ok...i used to stay in bedok anyway, and i miss that place a lot...
currently...
feeling a little bad cos i didnt go out with him again...i have to bring my grandma out... *siGh* i shouldnt be bothered with it but why do i care so much about it? hahaha...i m not going to tell YOU voyueristic losers who is he. yeap. want to know? come ask me.
i wanna get started with my studies but i have no idea which subject to start with. perhaps i should begin with math since i'm having tuition tomorrow.
oh wait.
shucks. i need to show him my math paper tomorrow!! arGh...i dont want to let him see!!!!
- lost in thoughts and zonking off -
jocelyn | 7:08:00 PM
Friday, July 16, 2004
updates.
my butt hurts...
fell down in the toilet two days ago...was making a hell lot of noise while falling down due to the pails in the toilet. haha...tried to grab hold of the basin to prevent myself from falling but i forgot my hands was filled with soap. so...yea...lose grip and still fall in the end. my butt was hurting big time and it took me quite sometime before i can even stand up. got up and found out that my shorts was totally wet and so was my panty. smart ass man. hahaha...funny though...went around my house with wet shorts and telling my family i fell down in the damn toilet.
hmmm...let me think. i'm having short term memory..cant seems to remember what happened in the past few days.
dotz...i really cant remember. oh gosh.
wait...there has got to be somethings that i can remember....
.
.
.
forget it. i cant remember.
right now...
cant decide if i should go out tomorrow to meet someone...yea...pros and cons involved. those who know will know what i'm talking about.
oh well...feeling freakingly stressed from studies...think i cant make it for prelims...so i've started studying for it! yeah! hahaha... i hope i will do well this time and not screw it up like how i did for my mid year.
jocelyn | 6:24:00 PM
Monday, July 12, 2004
got back my maths...doink...i knew i did very badly...but didnt expect to do so badly. guess i m going to see HER soon. haha...nvm...*trying to pretend to be optimistic*
think i got people around me worried...again. siGh...
dont want that to happen...didnt feel like turning to anyone else except for sulastri...sorry...
hey, thanks for the bao, fruit tart and hot chocolate...really appreciate it. it did warm me up and cheer me up a little.
jocelyn | 7:10:00 PM
Saturday, July 10, 2004
wasnt in a very good mood today..sorry peepz...*siGhz* just cant figure some stuff and because of the 'superb' results i got... wanted to cry so badly..but held back my tears...i've got to be strong.
kw and me made a promise...both of us will have a friendly competition between each other...heez...we are going to try to top the class for prelims. *wInkZ* haha...i wont say it's impossible. with a fair share of study everyday, i supposed it can be done ya? i dont wanna stress myself up...if not, suicidal thoughts will start popping up in my head. haiz...ya...i m a problematic kid. i like to bottle up my feelings...that's why sometimes i always seems so troubled...
hmmm...i have no idea what to write now...oh ya, having tuition tomorrow. *doInk* i so have no idea how to face my tuition teacher. hahaha...the result is horrendous man. oh well, i figured out that the only thing that i can say will be "i not yet get back my paper". heehee...
so frustrated now...i want to type some other stuff but yet i cant...it's something personal but yet, i cant keep it. arGh...forget it...think i should stop here before i type it out and offend people.
-sad, pissed, frustration, disappointment. =(
jocelyn | 10:13:00 PM
Friday, July 09, 2004
hmmm...score very very badly for my econs...didnt expect myself to get like an F for econs? it's so frustrating...to think that i missed my AO by like 0.7 marks...arGh!!!!
there are somethings in life that i dont understand...man...
why?!! i just dont get it!! why?!!!
too many thoughts
stuck in my head
i cant seems to shake them off...
tell me how
i'm sick and tired of this pretentious world...
step back...
i dont need you by my side...
not anymore.
where's lady luck?
i need her...
she's never by my side.
when will it be my turn?
jocelyn | 10:42:00 PM
Thursday, July 08, 2004
well, i hope you people are doing well in your mid years. my results sucks big time. serious. i figured out that i have to see esther lai. sigh...i hate it when that happens...and the most demoralising thing is i studied so hard for my mid year...but yet, i still do so badly. what is wrong with me? i dont know. i m such a failure at times...especially in jc. i have never gotten any grade higher than E. see?? how bad my results are...it's horrendous...
jocelyn | 6:40:00 PM
Friday, July 02, 2004
went off to town...haha...made so much noise in the train...impromptu decision made to go and watch Spiderman. heehee...went off to Lido to buy tickets for the 5.45pm show. sal could not join us cos she needs to get home by 5 plus...so sad... we will be short of one person. after buying tickets, we went to far east to eat. haha...ya...we went to sakura again. lala~ this time round, we ordered so much food...omg...and when i saw the bill...my heart broke...yea...it's expensive. haha...but it's ok...the food is nice and i like the sambal kang kong a lot!! haha
after eating, we went off to take neoprints. heehee...we were making so much noise went taking the shots. hahaha...it was hilarious!! hahahaahaha...not much sabotage during the first time round. lala~~
*poof* we ran our way to Lido to watch Spiderman cos we were so freaking late for the show. hahaha...run like mad woman...felt like puking after the run. we took 3mins to get from far east to Lido. fast huh? watch Spiderman...ahhhHhh...!!! it's so nice! hey, even if you all cant find any time to watch it, you people still must watch it!! it's so much better than harry potter...
after watching the movie, went to take any round of neoprints again. haha...this time it was chaotic. hahaha...sabo jill again. she got pushed down again...hahahahahaha...omg...we did a lot of stupid things...
lala~~ we were a little thirsty after that...went to Tangs basement to get sugar cane juice and ice cream. yum yum...the ice cream was so delicious...it tasted like...heaven. hahaha...feel like eating it again. it's getting pretty late...ne's in a rush to get home i guess...we parted off at doby ghuat station. oh man...the day ended so soon...i miss peach and sal...
i wonder when will be the next time that we can meet again...
jocelyn | 11:10:00 PM
My inner child is ten years old!
The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."
What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people
feel that they have known you their entire
life. Many often open up to you for they view
you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although
people trust you, you have a hard time trusting
them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled
up inside, or display them very quietly. It is
alright to open up every once in a while.
Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Apathy, well I can say your lucky, in some ways.
You see Apathy is no emotion, basically you
don't care. But that does not make you a bad
person. Some of my friends are apathetic and I
love them, but it wouldn't hurt to care a
little more. Trust me life hurts, most people
who are apathetic do it cause they were hurt.
But don't worry, life is pain, its also
pleasure. Good luck. (please vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most
of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but
Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure
Angels always appear when a child is born, when
a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their
first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear
in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold
wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and
show their love to everyone in the world.
What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
Faerie:
Faeries are sweet loving beings who love to help
people. They are not held back by reality and
love to dream and fly around. You probably are
very creative and although not the most popular
person in the world you are probably loved by
many for your sweet caring personality.
What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
jocelyn | 10:55:00 AM
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Gray:
You poor, depressed child. A rain cloud seems to
follow you everywhere. The worst has always got
to happen doesn't it? Life is miserable.
What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla
hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
